


City lights

by b4_00ll



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Depression, Hajime is sad, I suck at tags, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Twigger warning, hospital au, idk what else to put, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b4_00ll/pseuds/b4_00ll
Summary: Hajime meets Nagito in an unlikely time and place.(Non despair au)(MAJOR TW FOR SU!CIDE MENTIONS (but no one dies))
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito/Hinata Hajime
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> look at me pushing my problems onto Nagito and Hajime

—  
Hajime Hinata opened his eyes. Blearily, he could see a white ceiling and obnoxiously fluorescent lights. _Shit_. 

— **Two days earlier** —

“Mom! I’m home,” Hajime called as he slid off his shoes at the front door. Having not heard an answer, he wandered into the kitchen, where he found a note from his mother. 

“ _Had to work late, dinners in the fridge_.” The note read. Hajime looked at it blankly. He walked upstairs to his room and laid on his bed. His day at school had been monotone, as per usual. A plain day, for a plain boy.

He always felt plain, boring, useless. He had no talent, he was just a reserve course student. He tried to put it aside, telling himself that talent wasn’t everything. But it was hard. His best friends, Souda and Chiaki, were ultimates. He loved them, he really did, but when he stood beside them it amplified the feeling. 

He truly felt that he had no purpose, no talent. Useless. He was totally and utterly useless. 

Right then, Hajime Hinata made a decision. He slid out of bed and walked down the hall to his parents’ room. Entering their bathroom, he opened the medicine cabinet.   


It took some digging, but he managed to find a nearly full bottle of his mother’s sleeping pills. 

He walked back to his room and sat on his bed. Hajime didn’t feel scared, in fact, he didn’t feel anything. He just shook the pills out into his hand and popped them into his mouth. He took a swig of water afterwards, and that was that.   


Hajime didn’t feel the need to write a note or anything, so he just laid down and went to sleep. 

— **Present** —

Now, he was lying in a hospital bed. He wasn’t supposed to be awake right now, he wasn’t supposed to wake up at all. He closed his eyes again, trying his best to fight the urge to scream in frustration. 

“O-oh! Are you a-awake?” A high pitched voice nervously asked. Hajime sighed and nodded, opening his eyes again.   


A girl with choppy purple hair stood at the edge of his bed, frantically flipping through a medical chart. She saw that he was looking at her and jumped.

“I-I’m Mikan Tsumiki! I-I’m only an intern so I’ll go get your d-doctor.” She shuffled out of the room, leaving Hajime to himself. He glanced around the room. It was a pretty standard, as far as hospitals go. 

Hajime almost laughed, bitterly. He couldn’t even kill himself properly, so now he was in the hospital. He cringed thinking about the bills his mother would have to pay. 

“Hajime Hinata?” A voice asked. He looked up to see a doctor entering the room. Hajime nodded at him. 

“I’m your doctor. You’ve been unconscious for two days, but it seems that your vitals are stabilized.” Hajime nodded again, not sure of what to say. 

“Now, I’ve already spoken to your mother. She told me to tell you she’d visit you soon, but she’s busy with work at the moment. We’re going to be moving you to a different floor today, where you can receive psychological evaluation.” Hajime just blinked at him. 

“Why would I need that?” He asked. 

“It’s standard procedure for suicide attempts.” The doctor said plainly. Hajime swallowed. Right. That happened. 

“So how are you feeling about all this?” Hajime didn’t know how he felt. In fact, he hadn’t really felt anything for a long time. 

“I dunno,” he mumbled. The doctor gave him a look before standing. 

“Someone is going to come help you to the other ward here in about an hour. Until then our intern will bring you lunch.” Hajime watched him go. This sucked.

He didn’t even feel grateful that he was alive, just annoyed. It was an inconvenience, especially to his mother. He was an inconvenience. 

The intern, Tsumiki, came back in the room. Hajime watched her as she fumbled with a cart. 

“H-hello Hinata. I-I hope you’re feeling okay. U-um here’s your lunch.” She handed him a tray. He took it from her and started picking at it.   


He fought the urge to scream or throw something. The only thing he felt was a quiet anger, like a woodpecker pecking away at his brain.   


If he wasn’t so useless he wouldn’t have ended up here. Hell, if he wasn’t so useless he wouldn’t have tried to kill himself in the first place! 

Everything just seemed so...dull. They had for a long time. Nothing seemed to have the vibrant colour that it was supposed to. 

He could recall how everything had slid downhill, like a slow motion landslide. He’d stopped enjoying the little things, because, of course, he would never have a talent for them.   


He loved his friends, but he slowly stopped wanting their company. The colour drained from his world, like paint down a drain.   


Now, everything was dull and muted, along with his feelings. He just felt...numb. 

Before he knew it, another doctor had come in to take him to his new room. He make a decision to follow them willingly, but he would not be participating in any of the therapy shit.   


He swore to himself, the second he got out he’d try again, and not mess up. 

The doctor led him into an elevator, where they stood in silence. They reached level eight, were the two got off.   


Hajime was led through double doors. He tried to avoid looking at the plaque outside the door that read “psychiatric”. 

“This is the room you’ll be staying in,” the doctor said simply. Hajime stepped inside.   


It looked pretty much like the other room, except this one didn’t have a window. He was, once again, reminded about how much this sucked. He plopped down onto the bed and sighed.   


He figured he’d have some time before his...psychological evaluation, or whatever. He got up and walked out the door to do some exploring. 

Walking down the hall, he didn’t really focus on anything. His head felt fuzzy and numb. He was just _numb_. Hajime tried to think of another word for numb...but he couldn’t think of one. Whatever. 

He turned a corner to see a dead end. He was about to turn around when he noticed that the door at the end of the hallway lead to the roof.

The door seemed to be unlocked. He glanced around a bit before taking a step closer. 

“Are you Hajime Hinata?” A voice asked. He jumped a little and turned on his heel. A different doctor stood before him. She smiled. 

“You’re not allowed to be out of your room without permission, you know.” 

Hajime nearly felt embarrassed. 

“Oh, sorry,” He mumbled. She waved him off. 

“No harm done, come this way to my office.” She led him back down the hallways. Hajime looked back over his shoulder at the door. He’d have to come back later. 

They reached a room with light yellow walls and hideously orange couches. She motioned for him to have a seat. 

“So, Hajime. I presume you know why your here?” Hajime nearly rolled his eyes. Obviously he knew why he was here. He nodded. 

“Okay, well, let’s just talk about that. How do you feel about being here?”

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t like it.” This was so stupid. He could be doing something of meaning right now, instead he’s doing this. 

“Why don’t you like it?” She asked. Hajime scoffed. 

“Because I don’t need to be here!” The doctor raised her eyebrows at him. 

“You’re angry,” She said simply. Hajime clenched his jaw. 

“I’m not mad, I just think this is stupid. I want to leave.” 

“Hajime, say we discharged you from the hospital right now. Would you just go home and try again?” 

Hajime was taken aback by her question. Of course, that was what he was planning on doing, but he couldn’t say that. He stumbled for an answer before she spoke again. 

“I think we’d better have you stay here. Just for a little while. It’ll be good for you, you’ll see! Now, you can head on back to your room.” She stood and opened the door for him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little story ig   
> hope you enjoy :)

—  
Back in his room, Hajime sat on the bed. He stared into nothing, letting his thoughts overcome him.  


Eventually, someone brought him dinner. He ate a couple bites before abandoning it. He wondered what his mother was doing, seeming how she had been “too busy” to see him.  


She was probably ashamed that she had such a useless son. A nurse popped in to check on him, and tell him that it was lights out. He considered going to sleep, he was tired after all.

He found it strange, he’d been unconscious for two days, but he was still exhausted.  


However, he needed to get this whole thing over with. He got out of bed and slipped out the doorway. 

The halls were deserted, and Hajime made it to the rooftop door no problem. As he’d seen earlier, the door was in fact, unlocked.  


Hajime laughed quietly too himself. It was funny, a psych ward with an unlocked door to the rooftop.

He took the steps carefully and quietly, not wanting to make a lot of noise. This was it. He wouldn’t be an inconvenience anymore. He wouldn’t be the talentless one. He wouldn’t be useless. He’d just be...nothing. 

The stairway ended at another door, which was propped open with a brick. Hajime moved it a little with his foot and pushed on the door.  


A gust a cold air hit him as the door swung open. Not really paying attention, Hajime stepped out of the stairwell and took a few steps forward. The wind was loud, but he could still hear the cars on the street below. 

A movement to his left caught his eye, and his focus shifted.

There, on the edge of the roof, stood a boy. He was tall and very thin, wearing a long green jacket. The city lights cast a warm glow upon his unruly, white hair. From what Hajime could see, he had sharp features and pale skin. 

The boy was shakily stepping along the very edge of the building, almost like he was dancing. Hajime felt panic well up inside him. The boy looked ready to jump, and although that’s what Hajime was there to do, something just snapped inside him.  


The boy stopped walking and just stood there on the edge. He looked down, then up at the sky. He seemed to inhale deeply, like he was preparing himself. And he...smiled. His smile looked sad, as though he’d been broken and he was finally getting his release. The boy teetered forward a little bit. 

“Hey!” Hajime shouted. Startled, the boy whipped his head around. He stumbled backwards a little bit, away from the drop.  


The wind blew his white hair into his face as he stared at Hajime with astonishment. Hajime walked closer to him. 

“Don’t...don’t jump.” He was now only a couple feet from the boy. Hajime felt a rush inside of him upon seeing the other boy. 

“Why?” The boy made eye contact with him. His grey eyes had something wild inside them.

“What?” 

“Why don’t you want me to jump? You don’t know me, and if you did you’d know I’m trash who deserves to jump.” The boy grinned at Hajime, who was taken aback.  


Why didn’t he want him to jump? He supposed he didn’t want anyone to die just in general. 

“You just shouldn’t,” Hajime said. The boy eyed him wearily. 

“That’s not really an answer...what’s your name?” He laughed. Hajime nearly blushed upon hearing his laugh. It was melodic, and just slightly unhinged. 

“Hajime Hinata, and you?” 

“Nagito Komaeda. I would say it’s nice to meet you, but you kind of ruined my plans here.” Nagito gestured to the ground below them. 

“Well, I’m not sorry.” Something in Nagito’s face flickered a bit and he smirked. 

“Tell me, Hinata, what are you doing up here?” Hajime blinked. Of course, he was up here to jump as well.

“Well...I-“ 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you jump if you won’t let me, so come on.” Nagito wrapped his cold, thin fingers around Hajime’s arm and pulled him away from the ledge.  


Hajime debated about whether or not he should break away from him to do what he came to do. He decided against it. 

Nagito plopped down next to the stairwell and patted the spot next to him. Hajime sighed and reluctantly sat down. 

“Why’re you here?” Nagito asked. 

“Ah! But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course, you probably don’t even want to be talking to trash like me!” Hajime blinked at him. 

“Don’t say that about yourself.” Nagito looked confused. 

“Say what?” 

“That you’re trash! You’re not,” Hajime grabbed the other boy’s shoulder for a moment. It was very bony and frail. Nagito seemed to be shocked at Hajime’s words. 

“B-but-“ Hajime put his hand up to stop him from speaking. 

“Don’t try to say anything about it! It’s the truth so just accept it.” Nagito just gawked at him. 

“I-Hinata. Thank you...” Hajime shrugged in embarrassment and turned away. He cleared his throat. 

“Anyways, do you mean why I’m here on the roof or here in the hospital?” Nagito shrugged. 

“Which ever you feel like answering.” 

“Well, I guess I’m here because I overdosed,” Hajime mumbled. 

“Was it on purpose?” Nagito asked. Hajime peeked over at him to see that the white haired boy was staring into him. 

“Uh, yeah,” he said, flatly. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” Hajime repeated the question. Nagito nodded at him. 

“Well... I guess it’s because I’m useless. I don’t have a talent or a purpose. I figure if I was gone the world wouldn’t even notice.” Hajime leaned back on his hands.  


It was strange to say it aloud, but for some odd reason Hajime felt he could trust Nagito. 

“So you don’t really want to die then?” Nagito spoke. Hajime turned his head.

“What do you mean? I just said that I did,” he grumbled. Nagito smiled a little and shook his head. 

“You don’t really want to die. You just can’t be bothered. Who knows? Maybe you have a talent. I can sense beautiful hope sleeping inside you, Hinata. You have to give it a chance to wake up.”  


Nagito timidly put his hand on Hajime’s shoulder. Hajime gaped at him. 

“Thank you...Komaeda,” he said. 

“Please, call me Nagito, no need to be formal.” 

“Well, Nagito, what about you?” Nagito looked away from Hajime and at the city lights in front of them. 

“What about me?” 

“Why were you going to jump?” 

“...I suppose I feel useless as well. Except, it’s actually true in my case.” He laughed a little, wheezing slightly. 

“I figure that if I’m going to die anyway, why not speed it up for trash like me? No one will care, I won’t burden anyone. Besides, I don’t really have anyone to live for,” He shrugged. 

Hajime wasn’t sure what came over him, but he suddenly found himself reaching over and wrapping his arms around the other boy. Nagito tensed slightly, before leaning into Hajime. 

“Nagito, you aren’t trash. If you need someone to live for...well...let it be me.” Nagito gave Hajime a bewildered look.  


Nobody had ever been so kind to him, and to have someone who he just met not only pull him from the edge of a roof but also say these things?

Well... it was unusual. Not a bad unusual, more like something unfamiliar that he wanted to explore. He smiled at Hajime and stood. Hajime looked up at him. The taller boy stretched a thin hand out towards him. 

“Come on, let’s go back down,” he said. They simply stared into each others eyes for a moment. Hajime placed his hand into Nagito’s 

“Okay.” 


End file.
